If I could have just ONE wish….

…this would be it.

     I am trying to convince myself to REFUSE to be sad this week, but for whatever reason, all of my most recent sadness is smashed into September.  It was on the 12th of 2016 that Gerry was diagnosed, and then on 19th of 2017 that he flew away from me.  I SHOULD focus on the fact that on the 23rd is my dad’s birthday, and that it was on the 11th in 2009 I was able to buy my home and “dream dog” backyard.

The school year just began and I am trying all to infuse my students with a growth mindset, and being mindful.  I’m trying myself, at home and life in general.  I Don’t want this class to really know about Gerry.  Getting weepy in front of eight year olds isn’t the most “stable” foundation I can build at the beginning of the year, and the last two “season openers” have been nearly impossible, resulting in very stressful and depressing times.  I’m hoping for “normalcy” this year.

We’ll see.


About danielle

I am a rescue mom and school teacher. Gerry came to me from Texas, after he "failed" as a hunting dog. He had NOT had an easy life. I was three years divorced, and we saved each other. Last week I learned he has osteosarcoma. Our world feels upside down...while everyone else is right side up.
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7 Responses to If I could have just ONE wish….

  1. dobemom says:

    Kudos for trying to be positive….but first angelversaries are HARD. Probably all of them are, but the first is the worst. All we can do is remember the good times, and how lucky we were that our heart dogs came into our lives. Our boys are pain-free and watching over us. Take care

    Paula and Warrior Angel Nitro

    • danielle says:

      Thank you for your response. I know he’s watching…and I don’t want him to think HE did something wrong….I want to him to only remember our special times together.
      None of his blankets smell like him anymore, though…and I’m not ready to love another without it feeling like “work” that I’m not ready to do. My personal life has gotten more stressful, and I wouldn’t be the mom I want to be.
      Everything in it’s own time.
      Again, thanks for reaching out, Paula. I wonder about you often.

    • danielle says:


  2. midnighter94 says:

    It’s so very hard to keep all of the sadness inside. There are so many reminders everywhere! You can’t not be sad this week, that’s ok .. you’re allowed. And it’s even ok to share Gerry with the kids .. teach them empathy, love, healing … it’s what you do. And of course, you can come here to cry, and we’ll cry with you. Try to remember the good times with Gerry .. the things he loved to do, the happy days as well.
    Hugs to you,

  3. danielle says:

    Oh believe me, I know tears can’t be controlled. I’m just trying not to drown in them…and I’m sure it will be impossible for me not to talk of Gerry with my class. He was too important of a piece of it, that it will inevitably come out. I’m just hoping I can stave it off for a bit later than this month.

    If it ever stops raining here, I have new solar lights to put upon the log that we rolled upon his burial place, and get to spend some time with him. Thank you for reaching out to me. I needed it.

  4. benny55 says:

    Dear Mom….no, make that Dear Best Friend…..no, make that Dear Heart Human…no, make that Dear Soulmate……
    …..no, make that Dear All of the Above😊😊

    Watching you is, for the most part, such a blast!! Yes, it does put me in a bit of a frump sometimes when I see you cry. But then I puff up with pride when I see you work through it and replace the sadness with a happy memory you and I shared. 😎

    And boy oh boy, did we share happy memories or what?? In talking with all the dogs at the Bridge, I cannot find one…not one single dog who trained their hooman to read to them!!

    They are always so impressed here with all the ,little poems and random thoughts post on my blog. Remem6ver Remember that poem you wrote? The one you called a “pocket poem”? The one where you wanted a world with no leashes for dogs? There are NO LEASHES at the Bridge Mom!!!! Nadsa’! That reminds me though, what have you dont with my long red leash? Maybe you could turn into some sort of shoulder strap for a pocketbook or brief case…..something like that.one of my favorite “happy memory stories” to tell here at the Vridgemis about the pizza crust! And I can attest again that I am the ONLY dog at the Bridge who has had a bunch of kids give them a PIZZA CRUST TOAST!!! That was so much fun to watch them do that!!!

    I still snuggle with you at night and still wake up with you in the morning. I still spend summers with you and I still even go to school with you sometimes. And I had to laugh when you said you didn’t “smell” me on my blankets. My energy doesn’t smell, thank you very much!!! 🤭 My energy is something you feel within you and around you all the time.🤗

    Okay, they’re calling me for supper so I have to run, yes RUN!! We all like to run a lot around here…..because we can!!! Oh, and guess what we have for appetizers every Monday night? PIZZA CRUST BITES😎 You don’t need to s wll mu blanket, just get a whiff of pizza every now and then. That’s me saying hello!


    Sloppy kisses and wagging tails….

  5. danielle says:

    Thank you, Gerry. 🙂

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