It has been almost a month since I had to let my boy go. It still feels like yesterday. The worst part, is when I wake up in the morning and start walking down the stairs and it HITS me that I won’t hear his tail, see his sleepy face, and get ten minutes of snuggle time with him before I start my day. Or, in the middle of the night when I have to pee, I used to check in on him, he’d wake up just enough to wag his tail, and let me kiss him. In the winter, I’d put a blanket around him at night before I went to bed, and in the mid morning hours, cover him up again. If there is such a thing, I loved him too much. I miss talking to him, and him licking my face because he understood (or wanted the salty taste).
I need to get rid of his leftover medication, and feel like I may finally be able to walk back into the animal hospital he was seen at. I know I could send a friend to do it, but part of me would feel like a coward. I need to go back and see the women who loved him and cared for him like he was their own. The entire staff there would joke with me that they weren’t giving him back. He pulled love out of everyone! I owe it to them, and on some healing level, owe it to myself. Is it horrible when you see someone walking their dog, and you can’t look at them….feel envious and angry at the same time? It’s terrible. I feel like I’m constantly distracting myself to keep on keeping on….and I will. I will.
Save
“HE PULLED LOVE OUT OF EVERYONE.”
That sums Gerry up pretty darn well.
Yeah, the horrible void…the horrible break in our “doggy routines” and “doggy habits” just magnifies our loss.
One month….seems like yesterday. Yes, your emotions are still so raw and your hurt is so deep. We learn to “manage” it better…..we get better at “faking it”…..but it’s still there.
Then you see a picture like the one above and no way you cannot smile. No way you cannot realize how loved and happy and content Mr Gerry is.
All the pictures of Gerry are my favorite! :-)’ Add this one to the list!! 🙂
Love and hugs
Auntie
PS..OOPS…..I wasn’t supposed to reply. My bad 🙂
PS…This woukd be a good picture to suvmit for the Tripawds calender. Let me know if you need the thread to find details.
It’s not terrible to feel envious & angry, it’s just normal.
We were lucky, I guess, in a way, that Cassie has taken up some of our time because of her health issues. Maybe that’s the reason she started having trouble just before we lost Murphy. Who knows? But it’s never easy. And every first brings the hurt up again.
Hugs to you,
Donna
Totally get the envy and anger, like Donna said, it’s normal. It’s been 3 months since we said good-bye to Nitro, and I still have all the feelings you mention. Also, his birthday is the end of the month, so that will be a huge FIRST. One step, one day at a time is all we can do. Take care.
Paula