Gerry is a dog, that I will never have again

I accept this.

Like George, Richard, and Paul had to accept the loss of John back when I was in 8th grade.

Still, my guitar gently weeps.

I will never be able to vocalize my loss, as these boys are able to.   But I wsh you could feel my feelings, becacuse it sounds and feels like this video.


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I’m hoping…

..that this will be the only summer I don’t have canine companionship.  I have already been to Ohio for one wedding, two funerals, (two of my uncles died this winter, and so we did a spreading of their ashes at the cemetery where my grandparents are) and a kick ass family reunion.  That is nothing I could have or would have wanted to do with Gerry feeling the way he did.  I have another vacation planned for July, and so again, I never wanted to leave him, even when he was fully healthy.  Even if it was my awesome neighbors, or the kennel with AC and private runs for him,that I found, I never felt ‘whole’, until I got home and got to see him.  It was a relief, not to have to worry about him being lonely or not understanding where we were.  Yes, I am that insane on the inside.  I hope everyone is out there having fun in the sun, although I don’t wish the crazy heat wave we just went through, on any of you!

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Summer vacation is here, but you are not…

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I haven’t made…

…mashed sweet potatoes since September.

I just couldn’t smell them, didn’t even want to look at them in the produce department.

Tonight, however, I picked one up to mash with a left over meal from last night.

I hadn’t noticed,

I’d not cooked one since….and am excited to savor it’s sweetness with a bit of salt and butter…just a bit!

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What I have left…physically.


After finding the red leash, I began to wonder what other mementos I have left over.  I’ve already written how I couldn’t take his collar off him, as it didn’t look like him without it.

I have a bandana, his two bowls, his little toy box, and all his different beds.  The beds are out of sight as are his bowls, but I have baby sat a few times for my neighbor, and I don’t mind using them.  I have some of his antlers he didn’t love, and his fur still under my couch and his bedroom bed!

I really like the idea about doing do something more clever with his old red leash like mix photos with it (which I have Plenty of!).  I also have other items in ‘his’ trunk by the front door that had all 4 season’s worth of supplies in there, not to mention his “Going to Grandma’s bag”.

Sigh.  I didn’t love him TOO much, do you think?

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